Immeasurable

The love we have for our children is extensive. Incalculable. Immense. So much that it can’t be measured. When a child is born, they become number one—even before ourselves. They are 100% dependent on us for all their needs. And as they grow, it’s a different set of things we do that they can’t be without: Safety, Unconditional Love, Health and Enrichment.

The world momentarily stops spinning the moment they arrive. We hop on their life train and are steadfast in making sure we’re All Aboard. There’s no halfway. It’s you and them.

But it feels like something won’t be right or go well if it’s not infinitely all them. I think it’s innate—our never ending inexhaustible, immeasurable love.

immeasurable love children jet summer

I absolutely COULD NOT wait for the end of the school year and for the boys to be home all summer bustling through the house. And when school started back up for the Fall, I never wanted to give them up to some other place to possibly misguide their sweet, gentle souls.

Of course they must learn and grow and socialize. And we want that for them. One of our most important goals as a parent is to raise children who become independent and self-reliant people.

I think, though, that sometimes too much of that goes up to chance: a bully, a bad teacher, growing pains… all in someone else’s care. Six to eight hours a day is a long time. It’s not a control thing. It’s more of a don’t-mess-with-these-precious-minds-the-wrong-way thing. However, on the other side of the coin, is that there are many enriching, genuinely amazing mentors and teachers influencing our children too.

Is their environment positive and safe? We turn our kids over to someone or some place that doesn’t have that same boundless love, or allows them to just be themselves. We need to listen to our children when they tell us about their day—with complete undivided attention.

Do you know what makes your child feel good and energized?

Does your introverted daughter need quiet time to herself, reading or doing puzzles? Or does your son thrive outside, carefree and in touch with nature? Ask them. You’ll love the answers, learn a lot about them, and be able to offer them the guidance to find activities that are meaningful and satisfying.

Taylor’s Law of Family Responsibilities says that if family members fulfill their own responsibilities and do not assume others’, then children develop into independent people and everyone is happy. Those revolve primarily around providing your children with the opportunity, means, and support to pursue their goals. The psychological means include providing love, guidance, and encouragement in their efforts. The practical means include ensuring that your children have the materials needed, proper instruction, and transportation, among other logistical concerns. (Taylor, J., Parenting: Raise Independent Children. Psychology Today, November 2010)

We want some restrictions, manners, cleanliness, and some structure, but squashing creativity or energy or genius happens more often than we wish.

Now that summer is upon us, let it be a chance for our kids to just breathe and be kids. Let them be free, and run, and think up their own ideas while they’re little. Middle schoolers will need more structure and high schoolers perhaps career path guides, or more responsibilities to prepare them for the demands of adulthood. Every age group is different. But as long as we can encourage creativity and doing the things they love, then we’re on the right path.

“A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.”  ― Paulo Coelho

We ask our children how they feel and what they enjoy, and—when they speak their truth—it’s thrown out into the universe and all the pieces come together to help them reach their goals and their lives are full from a young age. Living their own lives instead of always searching for peace, they find what they want, what makes them tick, what gives them joy and what fulfills their soul while they are young and free.

Reading books, catching lizards, playing with puppies, jumping off seawalls, swimming, making music… that’s what summer is all about! Maybe homeschooling doesn’t seem like such a bad idea after all. Shoot. If parents can work from home and increase productivity, then why not kids?

I might consider it if I had little ones again.